In Love With Singleness

For the first time in my life, I love being single. I’ve never been one to hate being single, but I’ve always had a mild apathy towards it. In worst case scenarios, I felt the anxiety from the pressure I felt from friends and family that dating was something I was “supposed” to be interested in. But now, more than ever, I can honestly say that I love being single.

A friend and I talked were talking about this strange phenomenon recently and my hesitancy to post something like this. What kept coming to mind was, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”

So, I waited.

Then, I waited.

And then, I waited some more for good measure to confirm that I do, in fact, enjoy the single life.

I can confidently say, “I do.” ;)

I truly believe that there is a purpose to this season in my life and I intend to not miss out on this gift.

Another friend and I were talking this past week about how her desire is to work with clean water and peace-initiative efforts in war-torn countries and how that makes dating difficult. She usually gets weird looks from the guys she dates or she’s told how “unsafe” that is. In the end, it’s always a deal-breaker.  Yet another friend and I spoke about her desire to work with anti-human trafficking efforts, no matter where that led her, and how whatever guy she dates is going to have to understand and wholeheartedly support her.

Even though these were separate discussions, held at separate times, all of us were in agreement about one thing: a passion for our life’s work. Something that we believe we are being called towards. With that comes, a deep and abiding desire to not let anything (or anyone) stand in the way of it. We’re not just “career women.” We’re women on a mission to be apart of what God’s doing to change the world.

Before you get a little crazy on me, hear me say this: I know plenty of couples who are “one team, one dream.”

That being said, I’m looking forward to being apart of a team someday with my “partner in crime.” But until that time comes, I am not going to waste my time with men who are not even in the same book, let alone on the same page, as me.

Hear me say this: I do not hate men, marriage, or stay-at-home moms.

Let me say it again: I do not hate men, marriage, or stay-at-home moms.

But I am too busy loving this season in my life and writing my own story to be caught up in the fine print of somebody else’s.

Single ladies, listen to me for a second, everybody’s story is different. So, stop trying to make your story look like somebody else’s. Be okay with your story. Be more than okay– Love your own story!

If you’re anything like me, the past doesn’t really get you down too much as planning for the future does. Your head is usually caught up in the plans you have for tomorrow, this week, or the next five years. Stop. Just stop and look around your life.

If you’re like me, you’ve got a lot to be thankful for. You’ve been saved and redeemed from a lot. You can’t quite put words to it, but you know that you’re a lot stronger than you should be.

Back in January, I was challenged by a post by Makiah Green:

“There is a time for everything. If God is calling you to be single right now, figure out why and embrace it.

Think, pray, and join the discussion on Twitter with the hashtag: #ImSingleBecause”

This was my response on January 6th:

 

I didn’t know then how true those words would be. I’ve since gone to Seattle, Washington D.C., New York, and in the least, I have plans for Portland this summer.

I had (and still have) a lot of ground to cover in the world, but I also had a lot of ground to cover in my soul.

For the first time, “it is well with my soul” has taken on a whole new meaning, because I am whole. Ready for love? Eh, maybe. Maybe not, but in the meantime, I’m just going to bask in the love of God and the glory of the purpose for this season.

Thank you and amen.

I’d like to also challenge single people to seriously contemplate your own purpose for singleness. We’d love to hear your thoughts and to celebrate what’s going on in your life. Please tweet us your #IAmSingleBecause declarations @deliaspeaks & @makiahisms. As always, keep on keeping on, fellow freedom fighters.

Much love,

-D-

 

 

 

  • Camilla Osnes

    Thanks for the post Delia! Great reading! I’ve thought about the some of the same things for awhile. Especially when people have asked me why I don’t have a significant other. I love my life, I love being single and independent! Feeling whole as single has been an important thing for me to work on and rather letting God be the one who feels my loneliness has been creeping in. Learning to lovely my own company has been so important, and I really enjoy it! It has made me more confident!
    In one year I will finish my degree and start working as a pastor, and most likely as a single pastor. It has been a scary thought, and I see now through your reading that God maybe wants me to step into that season as a single as well.